Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Fear What You Want
It's the one thing that changes how you live your life. It changes who you are friends with and how you talk to people. It might as well change everything about you. Love is not just a feeling or a word or a description, it's a way of living. When you love someone you tend to change your everyday routine. Instead of going on Facebook and flirting with that cute girl, you are now sitting on your computer updating your status about how much you love your girlfriend. Or instead of going out to the club with the rest of the girls, you are now sitting at home on the phone with your boyfriend talking about what you like and don't like. Love is such a strange thing when you think about it. It changes your whole mind set, maybe even changes the way you look at the opposite sex. For me I don't know what love is, in fact I don't think no one ever will. If I fell inlove with someone how would I know I even did. Is it just because I care about them and have these strong feelings for them and seeing them makes me happy? Maybe its just something no one is suppose to actually know, but something everyone interprets on their own. We all want love but when we get love we are afraid of it. We are so afraid of loving someone, caring for someone, and being with someone. The idea of being together in serious commitment is scary for some people, yet being alone is even scarier. When you actually look at it though, what are you so afraid of? A person caring about you or is it the idea of love that is scary? I don't mind if I never fall inlove, the factor of me feeling some strong emotion for someone is just what I want to endore. Love can change people, hurt people, and show the true colors of people. When really all I want is acceptance from someone. Someone who will trust me, care for me, and like every aspect about me wether its good or bad. I want the sexual connection yet the satisfation of cuddling after a nice dinner. I don't a road that comes to an end because love has taken a bad turn, I just want to keep driving down the road with someone. Thats all I want.
It Just Hurts
This week has gotten better than last weeks, for the most part at least. My friend Mike, who I have been living with, went to Seaside for a week and left me in his house with the rest of his family...Awkward. Don't get me wrong, I'm close with his family but its just weird, hanging out in his house with him not there. He said he was gonna come home to come to my show, but he never said he wanted to stay in Seaside. Eventually he came back, but I made it a point to sleep out that night. He begged me to come stay with him rather than move with my family yet he hasn't been here.Things just started off rough. I planned a scavenger hunt for last night and it actually came out pretty good. We never officially established who one, but it doesn't really matter cause I got Mike to come and that's the hardest thing to do. Getting Mike out of the house to do something is nearly impossible since he always has to pick out the flaws in my plans. Things like that really bring me down, makes me feel like I'm not worth hanging out with. In fact now that I look at it, nothing went good at all the last week. I mean I got out of the house but my mind just wasn't in the right spot. I've been thinking way too much about Love, Friends, Leaving. I cant leave all this behind yet i need to. I feel if I got away from everyone it would give me a chance to breathe. I only have 4 weeks left in this place and I need to stop bitching and make it worth while.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
The New Horizon
So finally its been weeks later, but I am actually all moved into my best friends house. Of course I love it because its something new and exciting, plus his family is awesome. Though I do miss my own family a lot, I make whatever spare time I have to go visit them. This past week I've had so much to do. Between getting ready for this show with Cities & Years on Friday, working all the time, and trying to equal out my friendships, I feel like I've been constantly moving and haven't found the time to just sit. Today I tried to take my time before heading off to work, because I feel like I'm being rude to my new family. Since I never really sit down with them or talk to them much I figured I'd drink coffee and eat breakfast with them. Of course that didn't go as planned since his parents weren't home and his brother and sister sat in separate rooms. Time came to go to work and thats when I started to rush. Just then his sister turned to me and said "your always going in and out, in and out." and of course I know this and feel bad about it. I just proceeded to joke about it saying how busy I was. I just hope his family doesn't get the wrong impression of me since I really would like to converse with them.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYE
Big hype for this Pizza Hut show that is going down this Saturday at the Pizza Hut in Middletown, NJ. Cities & Years with Back and Forth and Civeta Dei. The place is going to be pack, i am a bit concerned about stuff breaking though. I dont want B-Lowe to end up getting fired because we had a crazy show in Pizza Hut. There are plans for the next six weekends for more bands to play. This show should set the bar as to what is going to go down.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
C.A = O.J
So by now we all know that if we ever need to commit murder and tell lies so the jury will believe us and send us home free, we can all move to Florida. Seriously though I get they didnt have exact solid evidence point blame on her but look at all the morals that were broken. Shes out partying when her daughter is missing, shes lying to police about people that dont exist, the computer searches that prove what was looked up on her computer over 80 times. The jury cant just sweep that under the mat. The fact that the body was stuffed in a bag and left on the side of the road is no accident. No family finds a child dead and then makes it look like a murder, it only makes things worse. But here is the big thing, shes free and she still doesnt care as to who killed her child. She never once asked for justice for her kid, shes just happy she got off scott free. Now if she didnt actually kill her then who did? Here is what I think happened...Casey went out with friends while her parents said they would watch her. Casey kept calling to find out where the baby was and how she was doing and the parents just told her shes fine shes with our "babysitter". Now mean while Casey's dad neglected to keep an eye on the child and went with his mistress. The child then climbed in the pool and drowned, Casey's dad comes home to find the child and they freak out. Casey finally comes home and is finally told what happened and because of Casey's fucked up childhood her parents convince her to make up a well thought out story. 30 days after the child is dead they report a missing person, by this time Casey's dad had already drove the body out of town and disposed of it to make it seem like a kidnapper killed it. Casey goes through numerous lies because her parents force her to and at the end of it Casey gets let off free. But now when the verdict was given Casey's parents walked out of the court room...but why? was it because they had a plan to protect themselves and have Casey take the fall? or is it because now the finger can point on them for neglecting the child. One day justice will be served.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Summer '11
I thought leaving my house would be easier than this, but in reality it just sucks. I wont be moving far from my friends, least not until August. Since I'll be living with one of my best friends everything will be fine. In August when I leave for school, thats when things will suck. Sure I want to go, but then again I dont want to leave my friends and my music career behind. Of course I'm going to school for music, I just wish I could take all my friends with me.I thought that hopefully after going to Brookdale CC I would be on tour or having a lot more shows, But everything has gone on a holt because of certain line up changes and style changes. Whatever its only 40 min. away and I do have a car, not like I cant ever practice or play shows. Its only for two years anyway, shouldn't be so bad. But July 4th is the last event ever in my house. It's going to be so sad to leave but its a night that needs to be remembered. I guess thats just how life rolls in the end.
1999
Probably the best year ever and maybe the only good year for music. Back then it was all about being different with music, now its either Pop-Rap-"Hardcore"-Indie. Nothing ever stands out, it really all sounds the same. So in memory of 1999..I give you this...
Monday, June 27, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)