I Can Save My Money, But I Cant Save Me

The big question of all is where have I been? Apparently I've been missing from everyones life and let me tell you it sure does feel like it. Summer has already began yet it feels like I lost contact with everyone. Truth is I lost myself. I dont know who I am anymore. Just another self centered asshole who feeds off pain and suffering, least thats what it feels like. The person I am is always who I will be and i know some people cant stand that statement but I think its time to come to the realization that I will always be this way, no good, worthless asshole.I may be hard on my self right now but when all fingers point at you, who do I point to? Lately my family has had a shit tone of problems. My mom and my step dad pretty much have nothing good going for them. They cant support them selves or their kids and the constant fighting needs to end. Some how I become the center of their argument. With my family having no money this kinda leaves me in a shadow where my medical is screwed. Theres a lot of things medically that I need and my family can no longer afford it, causing me to use medicine sparingly. My apologies for not following through with plans with anyone I break them with. Just dont start accusing me and becoming rude because I need to put my family first. The people I have met over the past year have been fucking amazing to me. Even someone my new friends who I may have met within the past six months. Every single one of them are awesome and I enjoy them in my life. Nothing will compare to the one person I want to meet though, my father. I never met him before. I just want to know if he will ever like me, but sometimes I dont give a fuck so he's probably just like me.