Feels like everything falls around me. Friends come and go, and love fades in and out. Trust is getting thinner and it feels like im better off alone. I just wait for the warmer weather to come so i can play these songs i wrote about how i've locked myself up inside. I never share how i really feel and it hurts me in the end. No one knows how i really am inside. These lonely times were I don't know who i've become, or if ill even make a difference. Maybe it just crazy talk but I have learned a lot from being on the outside. When no one liked me and everyone pushed me away. Sometimes I feel like i need that back in my life. When I think back to all the people i hurt i wonder why they still like me. Why would you put up with me if im no good. Between relationships or things that could have been, I've always found myself on the other side. Always hurting someone and always giving up or finding reasons to let go. Theres only few people that i trust in this world cause everyone else seems to be living lies. Im not one to talk but when you finally understand the mistakes that have happened in your life, you feel them and you feel them hard. People never remember the good sides of you either. Its always what they have heard or what they assume. If I could sweep my past under the carpet I would, but i feel like every where i go people want to bring it back in my life. They never see a change in me or see the real me. Everyone just see's this person they've thought up for me or this person that is said to be me. Hurting people isn't me, at least not who i want it to be. Even if I wanted the people that made me happy in life to come back, something or someone is always stopping me. Im then forced to push forward, in the dark and with no one there. They say love lasts forever, but what if I love the people who were in my life. They clearly dont want this forever. From relationships tearing me apart at the seams and me falling in and out, I dont know who is who anymore. Sometimes I just wish i had the people back who actually understand me. Dont take it personal but, this is where things fall apart.
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